Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Monday, August 30, 2010
Friday, August 27, 2010
cardi-check, non-fat latte-check
Monday, August 23, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Of course you'll find an occasion to wear it.
No, this denim skirt is so much different from the three other denim skirts you already own. Duh.
Sure, $250 is a lot for jeans, but they are totally an investment piece.
The sales lady at Holts complimented you on it.
ALL the sales ladies at Aritzia complimented you on it.
Let's just stop the never ending excuses and admit it, it felt good didn't it? It felt good that you could buy it, even better when your best friend complimented you on it, and even-even better when that guy checked you out in it.
Every girl whose been through a breakup, failed an exam, got into a fight with a friend, had a rough day, or a rough night- correction: every girl on the planet- knows how beneficial retail therapy is. How do I explain it? It's that quick surge of excitement as they swipe your card--approved--as they hand over the bag of new loot that now belongs to you. It's that rush of adrenaline, as you clutch the handles, overwhelmed with the feeling that you want to do it all over again rather than spend any more time thinking about that breakup, failed exam, fight, or rough day/night. It's uplifting.
With Telus hunting me down daily, a Visa bill I can't bare to look at, rent to pay, and KD to buy, I'm not exactly "in the market to shop". Metaphorically speaking, I'm not even near the market. I am outside the market, pan handling. That however doesn't mean I've kicked the shopping habit completely. No, no, no, I wouldn't be writing a shopping blog if I had, nor would I have an entire storage locker of clothes if I had. No boys and girls, what I've done is become more saavy if you will, at least as far as shopping is concerned. When it comes to shopping I can definitely give some pointers for when the shopping bug starts to itch, and if it's not the shopping bug that's itching all I can do is recommend getting to your local clinic, or web MD.
Dr. Emily's 1 to 5 "Therapy Plan"
1. Pre set a limit you want to spend, take out the cash, leave your cards behind. Don't have the bank calling worried about "fraud alert" due to the unusual activity on your account.
2. Embrace Forever 21, it exists for a reason. Most trends only last a season, so don't buy for longevity. Their accessory department is the best thing since sliced bread. Everything clocks in at the $5 mark, so whether it's some aviators, chandelier earrings, a cuff bracelet, or all of the above, it won't break the bank.
3. Buy clothes that fit. No, you may not like that number on the tag,and yes, you may be just "five pounds away from your goal weight", but wearing things that are not the right size just emphasizes everything you do not want to emphasize. Size is just a number, cut the tag out if you must.
4. Try on the sexiest dress, and the highest heels. Everyone needs a "single lady" outfit to make her forget what's-his-face, and meet what-was-his-name?.
6. Stop in the food court for ice cream. Preferably after you've got bikini shopping out of the way.
Monday, February 8, 2010
We go to the bathroom in threes, follow celebrity gossip religiously (hello, Brad and Angelina?) and have chocolate stashed in our sock drawer. As if that's not enough, we have a whole closet full of things that leave their minds whirling.
I have done my research and present you with the following 1 to 5 list of articles of clothing boys dislike (all of which I might add, I own):
1. At the top of the list we have Spanx. For any of you gents who have run in to control top garments somewhere in your travels, I am sure the experience was awkward for both involved parties. For those of you who have not come across (pun not intended) this miraculous invention, the girl was likely smart enough to take them off first, and yes, that is why she was taking so long in the bathroom
2. Leggings clock in at second on this list. One minute they are pants? The next they are spoiling an otherwise cute outfit by being worn underneath a skirt? As my roommates' boyfriend can be quoted as saying, "FYI, tights and leggings are just inconvenient socks".
3. Behind that we have A-line shirts. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones that are too long to be a shirt, but too short to be a dress. In guy lingo, they kind of resemble a tent. As a friend once told me, " I don't understand why you wear all these flowy shirts, they don't look good, you should wear tight shirts".
4. Fourthly we've got Uggs. These things are really Uggly - okay I'm probably two years too late on that joke- but they are. Yes, they are comfortable, but what slipper isn't? These sheep skin boots look sloppy, and "show that a girl has given up on herself" (not my words).
5. Last but not least, is the stiletto heel. These stylish stilts are toothpick thin, and often four inches or more. The most perplexing part about the stiletto is how and/or why we gals walk around in them in the first place- to which I cannot answer. The second is why we insist on spending the entire evening whining, "my feet hurt soooooooooo much" -to which I must respond, you try walking in them.
A Girls' Guide to Guy Proofing Your Wardrobe
1. Girl, trust me, he doesn't need to know why that sexy bandage dress looks so sexy; keep him in the dust and take the Spanx/control top tights/duct tape off first. You can thank me after.
2. I blame 2006 for giving leggings a bad rap. Don't wear them underneath a denim mini, with ballet flats, instead, wear them with a long (not A-line) shirt, and boots. Retailers like American Apparel have a wide array of fun leggings, and though they will set you back $50, I personally believe they are worth the investment. That said, repeat the following with me: leggings are not pants. Leggings are not pants.
3.I hate articles that say 'don't wear this if you are curvy', so I will abstain from saying that in relation to this post. Instead, I will say this, I don't care if you are a size 2 or a size 22, a-line shirts are not exactly the most figure flattering. Look for garments that have an empire waist built in, or cinch them in with a belt. It will define your waist, give you that desirable hourglass figure, and ensure no one ever says "congratulations!"
4. I don't care if they are leather, fur, or metallic, save your Uggs for walking your dog, or taking out the trash, and promise to never wear a Juicy tracksuit to do either.
5. Guys do like heels, but they do not like the whimpering, and whining that comes with them. So all you gals out there have a choice: buy yourself some Dr. Scholl's and suck it up, or leave the stilettos/weapon at home, and wear a lower heel, or a wedge for more comfort and stability.
So boys, I know you may never fully understand it, but bear with us while we take off our fake eyelashes, clip in hair extensions, Bump it, push up bra, and control top tights, and relish in the fact that no matter what, we will always look better in your t-shirt.